The Role of Christians and Heterosexuals in the Overturning of Proposition 8 Part 2

Last week I discussed how changes in America’s understanding of gender contributed heavily to a federal judges ability to overturn California’s proposition to define marriage as being between a man and a woman. This week I want to move to a discussion on how divorce has also contributed.

The word divorce shows up 25 times in the ruling document, which is a little ironic seeing as how it is a ruling on marriage. Some quotes:

“Blankenhorn identified changes [in the institution of marriage] that to him signify the deinstitutionalization of marriage, including an increase in births outside of marriage and an increasing divorce rate.” (14)

“Blankenhorn identified several manifestations of deinstitutionalization: out-of-wedlock childbearing, rising divorce rates, the rise of non-marital cohabitation, increasing use of assistive reproductive technologies and marriage for same-sex couples.” (45)

“The development of no-fault divorce laws made it simpler for spouses to end marriages...” (64)

Before I begin much commentary let me say that divorce is a difficult subject in the Bible. Many Christians have differing views on when it is permissible and whether or not remarriage can occur. But let me be clear, divorce is a horrific but not unpardonable sin. I also realize that there are so many different stories of how divorce occurred, many of which amount to one person having no choice in the matter, I do not place blame on those people for being victimized in this way.

There is no question that divorce is prevalent in our society. It is not merely a fact of life, it is a lucrative business. Some have divorce parties, some go for the “quick and painless” route, while others acknowledge it as a probability by creating a document to protect their things in case they can’t protect their marriage.

As one who is getting married in just under a month, I’m terrified of divorce. I hate everything about it. A 0.111111% chance that I could end up divorced is too much for me to handle. In my mind it’s not an option, but I have heard enough stories to know that I have to fight for my marriage from the first day.

I think the liberal side of the so-called “homosexual marriage” debate is correct when they say that the institution of marriage is under as much attack by straight people than it is by homosexuals. Homosexuals didn’t create no-fault divorce, they haven’t forced us to divorce, and they certainly aren’t responsible for the fact that those who claim Christianity get divorced at nearly the same rate as everyone else. That’s on us. It doesn’t make so-called “homosexual marriage” right, it just makes their case look better.

So, like last week, allow me to give some biblical points on marriage and divorce to encourage you to hate it as much as our Lord does:

God created the institution of marriage.

"Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male
and female, and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?” (Matthew 19:4-5)

Divorce is the enemy of God’s purpose for marriage, namely, the display of the gospel in the relationship between husband and wife.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for
her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” (Ephesians 5:25-27)

God has very harsh things to say about divorce.

“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the LORD,the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.” (Malachi 2:16)

What do these texts tell us? I believe they tell us that God created marriage with an explicit purpose- one that cannot be fulfilled by so-called “homosexual marriage”- and that the act of divorce works against that purpose. Notice the harshness of the words in the last text I cited from Malachi. Many will look at this as being merely a hatred of an act, but we must accept the complex fact that God sees a man who has just divorced his wife like O.J. Simpson running from a crime scene. It’s not clean, it’s messy, and it’s selfish.

Thankfully there is another thing that God has to say to those who are divorced:

“My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may
not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. He is the propitiation for our sins…” (1 John
2:1-2a)

These things should encourage us to hate divorce but if you have been divorced you are still not beyond the reach of Christ’s love and grace. As unrighteous as we are Christ is still more righteous. So trust him, love his gospel, and love the display of the gospel that is biblical marriage.

Grace and Peace…

Cordially,
Stephen A. Bean

The Role of Christians and Heterosexuals in the Overturning of Proposition 8

“PROPOSITION 8 IS UNCONSTITUTIONAL BECAUSE IT DENIES PLAINTIFFS A FUNDAMENTAL RIGHT WITHOUT A LEGITIMATE (MUCH LESS COMPELLING)REASON”

This was the decision passed down by a federal judge in California on August 4th, 2010 which overturned the voters’ decision to define marriage as being between a man and a woman. When the law was initially passed there was a huge backlash from many social liberals, most prominently coming from Hollywood. Back in December of ’08 I wrote a response to the tone that was coming back at those who believe in a biblical view of marriage. (see Part 1, Part 2)

As I read the judges official statement I was surprised to find how easily I followed his logic (though I disagree with him on fundamental things that led to that logic). Setting aside the fact that he clearly has a bias that should have caused him to recuse himself from the decision, I felt like he has a good eye for how society has changed and he put together a very well written document. I would summarize the judges conclusion in this way:

Society has evolved in such a way that the only real difference between the genders is anatomical. Because marriage has never required the two parties to have the capacity of bearing children, and there is no difference in the roles of men and women in marriage, there is no reason to exclude homosexual couples from partaking in the institution.

Some quotes:

“The evidence shows that the movement of marriage away from a gendered institution and toward an institution free from state-mandated gender roles reflects an evolution in the understanding of gender rather than a change in marriage.” (113)

“As states moved to recognize the equality of the sexes, they eliminated laws and practices… that had made gender a proxy for a spouse’s role within a marriage.” (112)

“Rather, the exclusion exists as an artifact of a time when the genders were seen as having distinct roles in society and in marriage. That time has passed.” (113)

“Gender no longer forms an essential part of marriage; marriage under law is a union of equals.”
(113)

It is easy to see what the judge describes in American society. Complimentarianism- the view that men and women are equal in value but different in role- is now considered sexism. Egalitarianism- the view that men and women are equal in all things save some anatomical differences- is the norm. The latter view has infiltrated all areas of society including the home and the church.

In light of this let’s take a quick look at some important biblical truths:

Men and women are of equal worth in the sight of God.
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” (Gen. 1:27)

Men and women differ in their roles…

…in marriage
“…the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit everything to their husbands.” (Eph. 5:23-24)

…in the church
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior…and so train the young women to love their husbands and children…and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled…so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.” (Titus 2:3-8)

The attempt by men and women to reverse or exaggerate their roles is a result of the Fall.
“To the woman he said…Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." (Gen. 3:16)

Next week I will discuss the role of divorce in this attempt to redefine marriage.

Grace and Peace,
Stephen

So Shall Your God Rejoice Over You

Some thoughts from James Smith. I thought this was great.

"As the bridegroom rejoices over his bride--so shall your God rejoice over you!" Isaiah 62:5

That God should save a sinner at all--is a surprising display of unmerited grace! But that He should bring that sinner into the closest possible relation to Himself, and rejoice over him--is indeed most astonishing! And yet it is most true! For our Maker becomes our Husband! And as the bridegroom rejoices over his bride--so our God rejoices over us!

He set His heart upon us!

He encircled us with His infinite love!

He determined to raise us to His glorious throne!

He purposed to make us one with Himself!

He sent His only begotten Son to redeem us!

He sent His Holy Spirit to regenerate us!

He intends to raise us from the dead, perfect in holiness, and robed with immortality!

He will present us before His glorious presence with exceeding joy!

"He will rejoice over us with singing!" What exquisite joy will this impart! Jehovah singing with joy over His ransomed and restored creatures, as though their salvation could increase or perfect His happiness!

Let us meditate on this glorious fact, and prepare for the stupendous event!

"Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!" Revelation 19:9

"Come, I will show you the bride--the wife of the Lamb!" Revelation 21:9

Marriage.

This Saturday my older brother will be getting married. He will see his bride walk down an aisle, make some very special vows, be united with a woman till death does he part, eat some cake, dance, and leave for a honeymoon. All these things are great, but does he really know what he is getting into? No. No unmarried person can possibly begin to comprehend the amazing, beautiful, sometimes frustrating, but blessed gift of marriage. Even if you know a person your whole life, there is something about marriage that just sets the relationship apart. This union is holy and sacred, just as God meant it to be. There are so many things that i want to tell him to help him be a better husband and better man, things to expect, and things not to expect, but i think all of it can be summed up in that God made marriage to make you holy not happy.

This sounds so strange and our flashy culture which would instantly label me as crazy, but it is so true. If your getting into marriage because you think a person will make you happy, I've got some non-sugarcoated new for you, they won't...at least not always. God uses a husband and wife to sharpen each other. I mean gosh, within our first year of marriage God revealed sin in my life that i never knew i had, and used Jonathan to help me realize my sin and then help me get through it. Even when God isn't revealing major sin in my life, he still uses jonathan to help me get over those selfish, mundane tendencies in me that keep me from God. Its not pretty, it doesn't make me happy, but sanctification isn't always a fun process, but being closer to God is and He is worth it.

Why holy and not happy? Because God isn't concerned with the trifle things of this world that give us a temporary buzz...He wants all of us to be wrapped up in all of Him. He wants us to be holy as he is Holy, and the only way we can do that is through Christ, not in seeking something that was never meant to fill us anyways. My brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, do not be fooled into thinking that you deserve to be happy and that that is what marriage was supposed to provide. No, God uses marriage to point us to him and to make us holy, as Christ is holy.

Grace and Peace.
Sarah B.

Through childs eyes (marriage)

Like in a resent post I have been at STEP Ministries with my “STEP Kid” who recently told me a little more about his home life. Its funny how on one night a week you can discover simple ways to see the world. One of the other kids was talking to us about his parents and how they live in separate houses and my mentie couldn't understand that. It just boggles his mind to think of divorce. Living in the world we do and going to public school its amazing to see a child who doesn't think that its even an option to split up a marriage.
His thought process is that marriage is what you do when you love someone and you don't ever want to be away from them. When asked if sometimes married people argue he said “yes they do but that doesn't mean that they do not love each other”. I'm not sure how his home life is but its pretty cool to see a child untainted by the world of separation.

This all came to mind after time at STEP and reading 1 Peter 3:1-7.

Love

In the past few days, I realized that God has been constantly bringing the certain subject of love up over the holidays. As I look back, it is really cool, because I can see times where God was trying to show me what it really means to love.

I had the opportunity to attend Chris and Anna Kay's wedding last monday, and Douglas and Cammie Allison's last month. Tim Senn performed both ceremony's and he used it as a time to share the gospel in a unique way.

First, Tim described the duties of the Christian husband and wife. Here are a few attributes of each: A husband is to forsake all others. He is supposed to be the protector and, while he should lead and make decisions, listen to the advice of his wife. A wife is supposed to honor her husband by submitting to his authority. She is to only intoxicate her husband and no other.

Ephesians 5:23-24 - "For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands."

God used this example (the love between husband and wife) as a representation of Christ's love for the church. This love isn't a romantic giddiness, but rather the devoted love that a husband has for his wife. Relationships aren't always perfect. Love isn't just a feeling. If it was there would be very few married people left.

Love, rather, is forsaking your own desires in order to put another's desires or needs first. I'm not married so I don't know from experience the intensity of that kind of love, but I am getting a better idea of love day by day.

I am currently reading a book called "Relationships" written by Tim Lane and Paul Tripp. The book starts by giving examples of the difficulties of relationships. Basically two people both wanting their own way, but it seems fair in their own eyes. They take this and run, showing the reader everything that is wrong on their side of the relationship. But instead of it being an extremely depressing book by only showing you all your failures, it encourages you with the sacrifices Christ made for us and the love that he showed us.

These things made me stop and think, first, about the sacrifice made and love shown by Christ to me, and, second, my love for Christ and others around me. It's overwhelming when you think about the love Christ has shown. His love and grace is our salvation! His love is unconditional. No matter how bad we mess up, he still loves us. And I don't love nearly as well as I should, but I thank God for his mercy and I use his example as fuel for my struggle to love as he did and does.

Thank you, Jesus, for the love and grace that you showed on the cross. I pray that you would help me to love others, even when they hurt and wrong me, as you loved me, a wretched sinner, who spit and mocked you. And may the glory of any love that comes from me by given to you, who made salvation possible. Amen.

Ministry Spot Light

Over the weekend my wife sarah and I got to go to a “Weekend to Remember” conference put on by Family Life(www.familylife.com). Conference was great and very encouraging but it was a very different experience. I have lived in Little Rock Arkansas my whole life and for a good portion of my friends have been children of Family Life Missionaries. Because I've always been around the ministry it has been very easy to over look what God is doing.
At the conference couples of all ages and backgrounds, christians and non christians, all for the sake of strengthening, preparing, or even saving their marriages. Seeing how these couples all had a weekend to simply focus on each other while being saturated by the gospel was a very encouraging thing for me to see since I've known people who run these conferences for years. We happened to know the guy who was the coordinator for the conference, so we heard many great stories from past weekends and how God uses these weekends to save marriages and bring people to Himself. I hope that you don't do what I tend to do and let the work of local missionaries go without being notice, and especially prayed for. Check out your local ministries that you might typically forget to join me in praying for them today.

JB

Everything is perfect in His plan.

Today my assignment at work was to read some scholarly articles about marriage and cohabitation and how children fare between the two. I had to read 10 and i got through about 4. What i loved most as i turned page after page was that each article came to the same conclusion...that children in married couples had fewer problems (emotionally and behavioral), were closer to their parents, were more likely to excel financially, and less likely to have their marriages end in divorce once adults. It was also great to read that married couples fare better as well when it comes to caring for one another, sympathizing with one another, taking responsibility, sharing, and intimacy. The funny thing about the authors of these articles is that they would all most likely argue that cohabitation is ok. Pretty strange when hard evidence points to the contrary.

I didn't want to write about marriage versus cohabitation, but more so on God's created order of things. In Genesis 2:24 we see that "A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh." In our society today there is a widely popular idea that before you get married you should "test the waters" and move in with your boyfriend/girlfriend. The problem with that is that God has ordained this becoming one flesh and living under one roof thing for marriage because that's how it works best and is the most glorify to Him. (I don't feel the need to give examples of why it works best, because of the above mentioned reasons, and there are more beyond those.)

What naturally follows getting married and living under one roof in a new established "one flesh" household?...babies! And once again we see that its perfect this way, just as God designed. Children need to grow up in the security ( and i don't mean financial) of having a mother and father who love each other and who love them, not with mom and mom's new boyfriend who may be around for just a few years at maximum. Where's the stability in that?

God's plan is absolutely perfect and needs no reinvention, even in this post modern age.
Grace and Peace

Guest Post- A Response to the President's Speech on So-Called Homosexual "Marriage"

The following post is by my buddy Jason Lapp in response to the President's speech to the Human Rights Campaign. For more resources on this subject check out Albert Mohler's excellent article on the speech, my past articles on the subject of homosexuality, or Lance Quinn's article on the subject of Christian ethics.

I’m completely humbled and grieved by President Barack Obama’s speech to the Human Rights Campaign. I was asked to write on this speech by my friend Stephen Bean which I obliged. As I began doing more research on the speech I began to realize the significance of our President’s words. The rowdy applause throughout his speech, by those in attendance, reminded me of my fallen condition before Christ. I gladly cheered on the sin that crucified the Savior.

My prayer for this post is that it will not come across as bashing a certain people group but rather humbly pleading for sinners to repent and trust in Jesus Christ. I know the power of the gospel because it saved a wretch like me.

President Obama made it clear that when we look back at his time as President he hopes people reflect on the fact that he “put a stop to discrimination against gays and lesbians.” I want to address President Obama’s devastating words:

“You will see a time in which we as a nation finally recognize relationships between two men or two women as just as real and admirable as relationships between a man and a woman.”

According to God’s word this is impossible.

God in his perfect, holy word has given to us a definition of marriage. “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). The command in Scripture for marriage is between one man and one woman. A brief argument may occur that God did not define the term wife.

In Genesis 2, before the declaration of marriage, it says, “God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man” (21-22). God created woman from man then declared the two to become one flesh. Christians must embrace this truth.

Two general points I’d like to make in response to the President based on Genesis 2:24:

1. A man shall leave his father and mother
2. A man shall hold fast to his wife

President Obama words can only mean that he is walking in a world of illusions or he is claiming to be God. God’s word says a man leaves his father and mother which President Obama contradicts by addressing marriages that are unable to bear there own children therefore not allowing there to be fathers and mothers. Then God’s word says a man shall hold fast to his wife. This is impossible with the President’s words because a man will hold fast to his husband or a woman will hold fast to her wife.

I find neither of these scenarios defined as marriage by the Creator in his word. Sadly President Obama does not see it that way. According to God’s word a relationship between two men or two women cannot be just as “real” as a relationship between a man and a woman as defined in Scripture.

The greater significance to President Obama’s words is the Good News of the gospel. Marriage was designed by God to give us a human picture of the gospel. In Ephesians 5, Paul gives us clear teaching on the roles in marriage. These roles are God’s design for marriage between two sinners so marriages may reflect the gospel bringing glory to God. Husbands are called to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (25). This is the gospel.

Husband’s are called to give themselves up for their wives. We are called to die to self treating our wives with respect and love. Why? “That he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (26-27). Christ gave himself up for his church leaving us his Spirit to sanctify us. Wives are to be submissive to their husbands as they are to the Lord (22). We, as Christ’s bride, are to be submissive to the head of the church, Jesus Christ. Only through the work of the Holy Spirit can we be given the power to be submissive to the commands of Christ. This is why the fight for marriage as defined in Scripture is so crucial. Our government is now trying to distort the gospel.

As Christians our ultimate authority is God’s word. Our desire ought to be to follow the will of the Lord as he guides us by his Spirit. We must be like Peter and the apostles when they were commanded by the government to stop proclaiming the gospel in Jerusalem. They responded saying, “We must obey God rather than men. The God of our fathers raised Jesus, whom you killed by hanging him on a tree. God exalted him at his right hand as Leader and Savior, to give repentance to Israel and forgiveness of sins. And we are witnesses to these things, and so is the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to those who obey him” (29-32).

Over the years we have seen the government re-write definitions that are clearly defined in God’s word. Government is appointed by God and we ought to submit under the government (Romans 13:1-2). So how do we uphold to one command in Scripture (marriage is between a man and a woman) while not submitting to another (be subject to the governing authorities)? Is there any time in which we ought to stand up for the truth while going against the truth? When the government sinfully passes laws going against God’s perfect will we must respond like Peter and the apostle by obeying God rather than man. We should not respond with violence by taking the law into our own hands (Rom. 12:19) but we must speak the truth in love.

Christian, are you standing firm on the truth of God’s word? Do you care that our government is trying to rewrite the truth with a lie? We are not being loving by sweeping this sin (or any sin) under the rug. Love “does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth” (1 Cor. 13:6). The world has labeled us as narrow minded, discriminating people who are not open minded and loving. While I hate that they see it that way I do not want to compromise the truth of God’s word.

My prayer is that all Christians will pray for President Obama to make decisions based on the truth. May Christ open his eyes to see the truth of marriage through the lens of Scripture. May Christ open his heart to the significance of this decision. By God’s grace may the President see the importance of not distorting the gospel of Jesus Christ.